HAPPY DEEPAVALI INDEED

For the longest time I can remember, Deepavali always meant lots of savouries, free goodies, joy, crackers and new clothes. This Deepavali was a wee bit different. Of course, gifts, sweets and new clothes were a part of the festivities this year too. But this time, I celebrated mine working on all 3 days. I spent my time talking to my patients, sharing their happiness, joys and fears. I celebrated it by sharing my sweets with a cute little 3 yr old suffering from an acute form of leukemia, who has now been in the hospital for over 2 weeks. All he gets this Deepavali are beautiful visuals of the light studded sky from the window of his hospital room. 

It is sometimes frustrating that we work tirelessly day and night. Personal life, loved ones, parties, family gatherings and sometimes even important exams may take a backseat. But it disappears when you have even one person coming and thanking you, making you realise that every little minute you spent for them was worth it.

The festival this year has been extra special because we have also done an autologous bone marrow transplantation for a patient suffering from multiple myeloma. It would give her a chance to live disease free for 2-3 years. For people whose expiry date is more or less known, even one extra week makes such a difference. These procedures are huge for the hospital (also in terms of income. He he.) These people are extremely prone to infections post transplantation and have the risk of high morbidity and also mortality in about 5% of the cases. That may seem like a small percentage only. But even one patient we lose is a big loss to us and their families. Hoping that she breezes through the next 20 days safely. 

I don't know how the transition happened - dolls to people, playing doctor to being a real one, a real stethoscope replacing the toy one I used to pocket all the children in the neighbourhood. But I am glad it happened and I know I would do it all over again if I had to. 

WHERE THERE IS A WILL, THERE IS A WAY...

"I had amenorrhea for 2 years. I never bothered to pay attention to it because I was so busy taking care of my family. When I finally visited my gynaecologist, she recommended that I undergo a scan, which was suggestive of chocolate cysts, a relatively benign condition. She told me that a laparoscopic surgery can resolve my problem. The operating surgeon, on the contrary found cauliflower like growth all over. She was shocked. She immediately closed me up and informed my husband. It was 1992. I was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian carcinoma. My girl was 10 and boy was 4. Eventually a debulking surgery was performed. I was given high doses of endoxan (a chemotherapy drug) which made me lose my hair. I fell sick often. I would endlessly retch and vomit. Those were dark days. But I was almost cured of it. I travelled all the way till Apollo Hyderabad for my follow ups. All was fine, till it resurfaced in 2001. My daughter was a medical student. My abdomen had to bear the brunt of another surgery. Coincidentally, I met the gynaecologist who had operated on me for the first time. I couldn't help but stare at the wig she was wearing. She seemed to have read my thoughts and promptly told me how she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo mastectomy. I was speechless.

Post second surgery, I went to the hospital for a follow up. That's when I learnt she went into coma and passed away in the same hospital. What a cruel twist of fate. The lady who gave me a second chance in life lay there motionless.

Soon, my daughter moved to another country and I lost my husband. I've changed a few doctors. I've had near miss events happening in my life. A lot of people and things left me, but this damn cancer doesn't seem to. But I am not going to quit fighting. I am a survivor.... "

I hope this incredible woman who has tirelessly fought cancer for the last 2 decades serves as an inspiration to every single person out there in the world because out of difficulties grow miracles!

THE POWER OF TOUCH

I have comfortably slid into my daily routine of seeing sick people and trying to nurse them back to  health all in good time. Most people look at us either as God or monsters, but the fact really is that we are human beings like everyone else .Today was a little different. Appreciation for your work makes you work harder. When it comes from your patient, it makes you realise why you got into this profession in the first place.

We have a patient who has been with us for over half a decade now. She explained to me the importance of "touch" in our profession. She explained to me how a very small thing like me patting her shoulder gave her so much of satisfaction and more importantly, courage to go about doing her daily chores.

Patients who carry the burden of a disease which is still considered stigma today are always looking for more love, in addition to care. These little things are never taught to us in med school. They are a mere reflection of our personality. She narrated to me how her previous oncologist always wore a mask face and would never answer queries, leave alone anything else. She, being a doctor herself,also spoke to me about how times and health care have drastically changed in the last 2 decades, when she was first diagnosed with cancer. 

Before I left her room, she thanked me for spending some time listening to what she had to say and did something that caught me by surprise - she held my hands and kissed them. That's when I truly understood what she was trying to say.